Lovebug, shnookums, sugarpie - shenanigans

It begins with cards, cupcakes and quite possibly the most hollow mirth to cascade through elementary school halls the nation over. Two adolescents entwined in puppy love looking doggedly into one another’s gaze walking awkwardly in a daze – they shuffle; pull a card from their back pocket, out of their back pack or somewhere more innovative, exchange, hug and live happily ever after as swooning astronauts and doctors.

We grow up counting our valentines, hording our cookies and heart shaped candies. We sit up pensively the night before cutting, crafting and wondering, “what if they don’t like me? What if they don’t accept it? What if I get embarrassed? It's got to be great!”

Love, however, isn’t always (nor is it ever) just truffles and Teddy bears, and in all honesty it aught to be beyond embarrassment. Every year approximately 7 days before the illustrious Feb. 14 schools K-12, colleges, shopping malls and office spaces rattle and hum with the sound of a lovebug. Resonating in the air this influenza-like adoration is the only ailment in the history of humanity to be remedied by a Hallmark card.

Thinking back, maybe those elementary days of boys flaunting playground battle wounds, cootie-ridden-forearms and monkey bar finesse while the girls of the court administered K-5 cootie vaccinations and offered playground proclamations weren’t entirely sweet. Then again, maybe its naïve to assume something so genuine as love could on any level ever have been entirely benign.

Despite their renown, the Hallmark’s soothing syntax doesn’t always cure the courier. So all grown up we’ve traded in the playground antics for fumbled lust, cute cards and red roses. We dote and wait and wish to whisper shnookums or sugarpie. Unfortunately these words are often received just as awkwardly as they’re fumbled from the tongues they leave.

As we grow we see that girl that sat across from us in that chemistry class or in English; she’s got a kid now, husband too. Her friend, that one that sat next to her, is engaged.

Many of us have spent sleepless nights and multiple daydreams reasoning out the workings of love. Most of us have been unsuccessful in this strangely arithmetic endeavor. But eventually we resolve that a card plus flowers and a fun night does not equal out to be substantial.

I’ve been asked many times about my dealings with love. Awkward as these conversations may be I generally entertain them to find some truths about this quizzical thing. For it encompasses us all as a "we." We’ve all been hurt, dragged out and thumped to the beat of love.

Whether one is the spectator sitting singly across the room from the happy duet dancing the night away, a heart bursting to see its long-distance other half - the mother, the father, the son or the daughter - we are all humbled by love. When asked to define love, I earnestly say I cannot. I can quantify it, make guesses as to how it may affect the brain to transfer neurons chemicals and electrons, hearts lubdubbing and yes, eventually lips let slip out sighs of snugglebug and sweet thang. But this is what love does, not what it is.

Love can be traced down to a moment an instance of insanity, a glimmer in an eye, a touch, a kiss, a laugh or a hug. Ultimately I believe love is found in these moments when one realizes that tomorrow becomes exponentially harder to imagine without that person.

My bumblings through love and its rhetoric have led me to rest on one thought. Love won’t always inspire butterflies or Eskimo kisses but for every night one can look their partner in the eye and earnestly say, “I need to be with you just one more day,” they are succeeding in love.

Valentine's Day isn’t about the cards, crafts or candies, or even the holiday’s namesake. Those for whom the day means the most define it by their sincerity.

All those people who we cannot imagine our tomorrows without are what Valentine’s Day is about. Upon this realization a single day for these people seems inadequate. Therefore the feelings aught to transcend the red night of Valentine’s and swell into their successors. Though singular in its occurrence, Feb. 14 is a persistent reminder that it is never too late to stare bashfully into the faces of your friends, your family, and yes, your lover too, and say, “I love you, I really do, for this and every imaginable day.”